Iron Man Releases Statement

Famed super hero Iron Man has just released a statement to the public stating that he is sick and tired of being called a “Second String” super hero in reviews for his new film.

“Seriously,” he was quoted as saying. “That shit is just not cool. I was an Avenger when Spider-Man was just a whiny teenager. [...]

In which I realize I make as much as an Avenger

As I was sweeping the kitchen floor today, I had a sudden realization. I currently make around the same salary as the Avengers did, circa 1985.

Let me explain. Back when I was a somewhat nerdy child, there was nothing I loved more than Spider-Man. I couldn’t get enough of him – he is still my all-time [...]